The Surgeon

"Dr. 'A' will leave a nice scar," my endo. recommended.
Well, that is reassuring.  Honestly, the scar was the least of my worries.  I knew that papillary carcinoma is not aggressive, but the entire time I was waiting to meet with the surgeon, I couldn't help thinking that it would spread.  I literally asked my endocrinologist and/or her nurse hundreds of questions about the surgery, the recovery, life after the surgery, and the radioactive iodine treatment.  I read some terrifying blogs about life after thyroid surgery and scared myself terribly.  (Note to others:  avoid gloom and doom blogs, but educate yourself, ask questions, be prepared, be your own advocate, take a friend with you into the Dr.'s room to back you up).  I had some night terrors--different from nightmares because it actually feels real and takes your breath away.  I thought a giant spider was lowering from the ceiling fan to the bed and I literally jumped out of bed and screamed, waking John, and forced him to search the covers and the entire room, closets, bathroom and all.  Kind of funny now. 

I worried when my hair seemed to be falling out faster from taking Synthroid, I researched Synthroid, Cytomel, and Tirosint.  My endo. refused to entertain the idea of Armour (pig thyroid chopped up and made into pills--blah.) but a combination of Synthroid and Cytomel worked much better than Synthroid alone.  Tirosint is pure T4 without all of the additives that make Synthroid, but difficult to find for pharmacies apparently.  Express Scripts has it, though.  I journaled every little ache and pain just to be sure there weren't any side effects from the meds. I worried about weight gain, osteoperosis, dementia, and fertility.  My endo. reassured me that everything was manageable with the medication.  Hopefully I'll never have to survive alone in the wilderness.

Finally I met with Dr. A.  Wow.  What a decorated surgeon--one of the best in Houston which says a lot, he was even featured on a talk show (forgot which one).  He was extremely reassuring.  His hands were strong and steady--good to know for a plastic surgeon, he was friendly and sociable, chatting with John about Air Force stories and complimentary to me "I bet all the teenage guys have a crush on you"  to which I always say, "maybe at first..." and he compared me to his daughter my age.  He just did everything right.  He told us that he does this surgery 3-5 times a week and it would only take about 45 minutes to an hour.  I literally felt like a weight had been lifted. 

During this time,more and more letters, texts, cards, and emails flooded my mailboxes.  My family and friends sent beautiful Bible versus and encouraging words.  My aunts, uncles and grandma in Oregon and Washington sent multiple cards.  My aunts in Austin emailed and called me and added me to their prayer chains.  My best friends sent cards and called for updates.  My parents, sister and brother texted and called nearly every day. I had a Mass said for me. My co-workers reached out and lent an ear to my incessant worrying.  A church in Tennessee prayed for me and sent me a card because our good friends here told their parents in Knox/Nashville about my situation.  My Parents (in law) called frequently, prayed for me and made it to some of the Dr. visits.  My students and even some of their parents inquired about my health and sent well-wishes and offered to help.  I am truly blessed.

How it all began...

"Don't worry, papillary cancer is the best kind of cancer you can have..."
So said my endocrinologist after my second fine needle aspiration of my nodular thyroid.  I nearly vomited.  I immediately started crying, and when John came home, he cried too.  I was angry, I was afraid.  I ran a marathon a year ago, no one in my family has ever had this type of cancer, I do not live around radiation...how in the hell did I get thyroid cancer?  I began questioning every lifestyle choice I've ever made.  Was it too much splenda?  Was it from using an iphone?  Was it from taking several flights over the last year for vacation?  Do I live near a nuclear power plant and not know it?  Did the Synthroid I was taking to help my hypothyroid symptoms cause the cancer?  I had just started within the year that they found the cancer...how infuriating would that be?  Was it stress?  Am I causing more stress by stressing about too much stress...dizzying!  The simple answer is, it just happens.  After the diagnosis John and I went through a whirlwind of tests and second opinions and Doctor visits and researching surgeons and breaking the news to friends and family.  Malignancy confirmed, we booked a complete thyroidectomy with a top-rated plastic surgeon who stated that he does "3-5" of these surgeries every week.  Whaaaa?  I remembered reading about the rising rate of thyroid cancer in my Shape magazine.  What the heck causes this?  My endocrinologist whined "it's not like breast cancer where there are massive amounts of funding for research...nor is it like breast cancer...but there is a slightly increased risk of getting breast cancer after finding thyroid cancer..."  Is that supposed to make me feel better?  It's just thyroid cancer?  Just chop the thing out and be dependent on medication to prevent you from lapsing into a coma and dying?  Sighhhh.  Thank God for my family and friends who offered words of encouragement and lifted us up in their thoughts and prayers.  I just decided that all I could be was thankful that we caught it, that I have an amazing husband who literally cared for me around the clock, neglecting work and athletic training for his ironman and school work, and that we have the means to treat it.  That is what I have decided.  I am thankful and eager to share this story to shed light on this experience. 

First Entry

Well, I just had a thyroidectomy a week ago, and while I am still recovering, I have decided to start a new blog dedicated to writing about whatever my heart desires. Enjoy!